Just For Teens Tips
Read these 17 Just For Teens Tips tips to make your life smarter, better, faster and wiser. Each tip is approved by our Editors and created by expert writers so great we call them Gurus. LifeTips is the place to go when you need to know about Emotional tips and hundreds of other topics.
Not Ready For Sex
A reader recently wrote: My boy friend asked me to have sex and I do not feel ready. What do I tell him? First, some cold, hard facts! Guys have very different sexual needs than women's. I once read that guys actually think about sex at least once every 5 minutes. I asked a couple of male friends and they both told me that was not true. They think about sex more often than that!
Men's hormones are different than women's are, therefore, even nice guys may tend to pressure for sex when the girl is not ready. A woman should never be pressured into sex and a guy who really cares will take a "no" for an answer and still like you.
So, what do you tell him? You tell him "I AM NOT READY FOR SEX YET!" and leave it at that. If he says "Everyone else is doing it". You say, "Is it not nice that I am unique and not like everyone else!" And mean it! Be tough on this. If he likes you, he will hang around and wait. If not, you are better off that he left.
He Says I'm Frigid
Guys often complain that girls are "frigid." First, remember that most guys have a lot stronger sexual drive than women. and the "cold shoulder" is probably the most common tool a woman uses to keep the relationship at a safe level. What to do? You may want to get used to girls being "frigid" :-), or, take the relationship slower, being supportive but not too pushy.
She Avoids Me Since Our First Kiss
A first kiss is more than just a kiss, it is milestone in anyone's life and is symbolic of moving into a new phase of life that involves intimate relationships with others. A girl friend that suddenly turns melancholy after a first kiss is probably doing a lot of heavy thinking, not just about the kiss, but about what the kiss means. Be supportive and do not pressure. Moreover, do not think that she did not like your kiss because that is most likely not the case.
He Wants to Know If I'm A Virgin
A reader asked what to do about a guy who wanted to know whether or not she was a virgin. I responded with: I would definitely not tell him whether you are or you are not a virgin, but rather, come up with a spicy response that leaves him wondering... something like, "Wouldn't you like to know?" or "Hmmm, that's something I only share with one other person." or "I'm not clear what that question has to do with our relationship." The important thing is not to give a direct response because, A) It really is none of his business, B) If you are interested in this guy and he wants an easy pickup or truly wants a virgin, you will have turned him off. By the way, there is no shame in being a virgin. Do not feel pressured to have sex just because everyone else is doing it and you don't want to be different. Believe it or not, guys may ask for sex (beg, plead, demand), but they really respect the girls who do not give in (trust me on this one!).
I Get Teased
Believe it or not, when you are comfortable with who you are, be it a geek or the captain of the football team, people will like and respect you. It is when you are not comfortable with yourself that they tease and feed into your insecurities.
How to Get This Guy To Like Me
Men like to pursue their women and not to be pursued. If the woman is too needy, clingy, or falling all over them, they tend to pull away.
Guys like women who are confident, active, happy, in love with life. Even a "not so good looking girl" becomes attractive if she has a spark of life. To let a guy know you like him, give him very subtle clues -- a shy smile, a certain look, being near him but not obviously so. It is a mixture of letting him know you are there and available, but appearing that you are chasing him that will catch his attention.
Inferiority Complex
Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
Can't Get Over Him
Can't get over a break up? Here are the cold, hard facts. The brain registers patterns of behavior and files them away for future use so it can be "lazy" and not have to think so hard. That is why we tend to sit in the same section at church, buy the same brand of foods, and buy our gas at the same gas station. That is one reason why relationships, particularly ones that went on for a long time, are difficult to get over. The brain wants us to return to old patterns. To help you get over a lost relationship, try creating new behaviors and new patterns for the brain to follow when you feel the ache of loss.
Media Influence
Most girls feel that their body (hair, eyes, nose, etc.) is not right. That is because our society has created a false image of what women should look like. Models are ultra thin and beautiful, but, how many women do you see that look like that on the street? And, furthermore, the woman you see on the cover of a magazine does NOT wake up looking like that in the morning! Many of those pictures are taken hundreds of times to capture the one that you see! Most men will tell you that confidence, a good posture, an a happy attitude are more important than how fat/thin, tall/short, ugly/pretty you are.
Changing Myself
Do not try to change who you are. Others will see right through you and will not respect you for not being genuine. Remember, most peers also have known you for a very long time so they carry with them memories of who you are over the years. Those memories will continue to influence them no matter what changes you try to make of yourself. Therefore, work on being comfortable with who you are. When you feel good about yourself, others will feel good about you too.
Boyfriend is Cheating On Me
A reader asked: "Why is my boy friend cheating on me?"
Either he cannot control his own behavior or does not care for her as much as she thought he did. Either way, she would be wise to dump him! Not only does she risk emotional trauma, she risks exposure to all kinds of sexual diseases if he is also sexually active with others. Remember, whomever he sleeps with, she sleeps with! And, many of these sexual diseases can last a lifetime! There are no known cures for genital herpes, genital warts, and several other sexual disorders. It is better to be safe than spend a lifetime fighting a sexual health problem.
Does He Like Me?
How do you know if a boy likes you? First, remember that boys are very different than girls when it comes to showing affection. Many times, they like a girl very much but do not do or say anything about those feelings! This leaves a girl with no way of knowing whether a boy likes her or not! Short of asking the guy whether he likes you or not(or one his friends as most guys DO confide in friends), I am afraid this is one gender difference that is not easily solved!
I Want to Change Myself
If you really want to change over the summer, take a good look at who you are. Make a list of all the positive things about yourself that you like or that you are good at. Focus on those and make them even better. The rest will take care of itself.
Letting Him Down Gently
How do you tell a guy whom you have known since kindergarten who has asked you out that you are not interested? There really is no easy way to do this, so it is best to just be up front and honest and tell him that since you have been together since kindergarten, you think of him as a friend and a relationship could never go any further than friendship.
I Am A Geek
A reader wrote that she was a geek and wanted to change over the summer so that kids would like her better. It is ok to be a geek, a nerd, or a little different. My goodness, wouldn't life be boring if everyone was the same?
Why Is She Jealous?
Have you ever heard the saying "The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence?" Well, this saying holds true in young relationships. Sometimes we do not want something until we realize someone else wants it. That is probably why a girl you have had a crush on, but who did not show any interest in you, suddenly appears jealous when you approach another girl.
Just Wants To Be Friends
She says she just wants to be friends, but you want it to be more than that. What do you do?
First, Be yourself. When you are comfortable with yourself, it shows and others are attracted to you. In other words, be comfortable with who you are and confident in what you do.
Second, She may really mean she just wants you as a friend. Women actually believe they can have platonic (no sex) relationships with men. Men, however, tell me this is impossible!
Third, Do not be too apparent that you want her. Men and women tend to be turned off when they think they are being chased. Simply be around her, be yourself, give lots of invitations and hints, but do not chase! And if this does not work, perhaps you need to look elsewhere.
| Guru Spotlight |
| Jerry Mayo |
