Offering Choices

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How can I get my child to stop being so argumentative?

Offering Choices

Children are often resistive to what we ask them to do because they rarely get the chance to make decisions in their lives. Giving the child a choice, for example: “Do you want to put on your coat first or your boots?” can help the child to feel more in control. This works great for the child who does not want to get dressed. Suddenly the struggle is off and in their own hands. By the way... this continues to work throughout childhood and especially in the teenage years. Remember, a teen is going through many of the same struggles as a toddler -- independence, re-defining who he or she is (for more, read my tips on the teen years) -- so giving choices such as, "No, I cannot buy you designer jeans, a cashmere sweater, and matching boots. But I can buy you one of those things. You chose which one you want." will eliminate a whole lot of arguments and struggle. (P.S. I have raised 5 teens and taken 2 more in to live with me from time to time!!!)

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Patricia Walters-Fischer