March 31, 2006, Newsletter Issue #127: Arguing and Time Out

Tip of the Week

Children often like to engage in an argument when you put them in time out. The goal of this type of behavior is usually to bring you down with them. If they have to suffer, then they would just as soon have you suffer with them. Arguing can also be a form of getting attention (even bad attention is better than no attention) or of delaying the inevitable -- being placed in time out. When putting a child in time out, remember these simple rules:
1. Tell the child in a calm voice why they are going to time-out in simple words ("Time-Out for hitting.")
2. Do not engage in argument. Say nothing else except to repeat what you just said.
3. If the child screams, yells, or argues, try to ignore as much of the misbehavior as you can. Unfortunately, for many children, this will only escalate the misbehavior. In that case, continue to not speak or show emotion, just keep putting the child back into time out and holding him or her there if necessary. Occassionally, say something like, "I will not talk to you until you are calm. Let me know when you are calm". Then, do not talk with them until they are in control and sitting quietly. To find out more about techniques other than time-out that you can use, you may be interested in a course I offer called When Time-Out & Stickers Don´t Work

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