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Facilitating Rather than Intervening Let children problem solve on their own as much as possible. When children start fighting or arguing, stand back, let them know you are aware of their differences, and then be silent and watch. If the argument gets out of hand, you may want to set some ground rules such as "both of you sit on these chairs and use your words to tell each other what it is you want." You can also referee, saying something like "Ben, you told Alice what you did not like about what she was doing, now it's your turn to listen to what she says." Do intervene if someone is getting hurt.
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